Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction.
John C. Crosby
Today’s competitive business environment requires more than skills and knowledge. There has to be a desire to succeed, to face any and all adversity, to do the impossible. Sometimes we need a little help with that. Ellembey Training is proud of our mentoring program. Our industry experts assist business professional at all levels be the very best they can be. Because when people are the best, they are unstoppable!
A group of hikers had settled down for the evening. They had created a big fire and placed a pot of delicious smelling stew on the fire. As luck would have it, the aroma managed to filtrate through the forest and landed on the sensitive nose of a big old brown bear! He couldn’t believe his nose! So he followed the smell and came upon the camp with the folks getting ready to sit down for their evening meal. The sight of the bear caused them to scatter quickly, and vacate the site immediately. The bear, following his nose, approached the fire with the stew simmering in a pot on top of it. He couldn’t help himself! It smelled too good to waste, so without fear or hesitation, grabbed the pot with both his front paws and proceeded to clutch it to himself. Of course, having been sitting on the fire, the pot was horrendously hot. Rather than drop the pot and cease the source of pain for him, he held onto it even tighter hopping that would make things better. Of course it didn’t. Rather it burned him even more and caused even greater damage. He still wouldn’t let go, and even more pain! Finally, he couldn’t take the pain anymore and had to release the pot. It dropped and of course with that so did the pain! The campers watched in disbelief at the sight, and couldn’t understand why the bear would continue to hold on to the very thing that was causing him pain.
People are like that old bear too. I recently facilitated a class with a group of managers who had just completed training on leadership. As we discussed the breakthroughs of the training and how that would assist them to be better leaders, one of the managers kept complaining about the company and how it didn’t support them, how difficult their job was, and how it will be so hard to use the skills they all developed in the sessions. No matter how I tried to get her to look at herself and rather than judge what everyone else needed to do, what was she willing to do differently or to support her peers to move forward? She kept insisting on all the things that were wrong, rather than what was right. She would not let go of the attitude that was causing her the pain. Even her peers tried to coach her to see things with a renewed outlook, still she insisted on hanging onto her “stew pot”. Nothing will ever change for her until she decides to let go!
We all have a habit of doing that. We hang onto old memories that cause us pain. We relive them every time we talk about it to anyone who has yet to hear our tale of woe. We hang onto old habits thinking that perhaps this time they will deliver a different outcome. We often keep relationships that do nothing more than destroy our very spirit. Somehow we think it will get better. And we keep beliefs that were often made before we knew better or became better informed. Beliefs that hold us back from having the dreams and goals we deserve.
Anytime we hold onto our ‘stew pot’ all we get is more pain. Unless you like the feeling of that pain, perhaps it’s time to “drop the pot”! I’m not suggesting we give up, but that we give “it” up! Whatever is causing that pain, causing us to move forward and live the lives we deserve to lead, to lead the people who need our impact, to leave our mark on the world, we need to “drop the pot”! And drop it now!
So easy to say, not so easy to do right? Well, actually, it’s easier than you think. Making the decision to “drop the pot” is where we begin. Only then can we proceed. We have to come to terms with the price we are paying for our behavior.
Then we need to identify what it is that is causing so much anguish. Some self reflection. Often we put a bandage on the symptom and not the source. This will require some personal insights. If all you do is treat the symptom, the same problem will occur over and over. So ask yourself, is this something I am creating through a belief, or attitude? If so, then change it! And things will improve.
Ask yourself, is there anything I can do about this? Is it beyond my control. Often we try to control things that really aren’t ours to control in the first place. That’s just selfish! We are probably robbing someone else of a life lesson that they need to learn. If it’s not a hill you need to die on, then don’t!
And finally, learn from the experience. Ask yourself, what can I learn from this so I can move on. We don’t need this to reoccur again in the future. The only way to avoid repeating pain is to face it, learn from it, and then to let it go!
So whether the pain is great or small, if it is holding you back from living a life of real leadership, and having an impact on the people around you, then “drop the pot” and get on with living. Remember, when people are at their best they are unstoppable!
There have been numerous articles and books written on the subject. This new generation in the workplace…the Millennial Generation. This wonderful new group of employees whose birth years are loosely defined between 1982-2004, are often referred to as the ‘Entitled Generation’. The most unique quality of this generation is that they are the first generation of digital natives. Raised on Facebook and Google, this group needs to feel connected with their social families, not just some of the time but constantly. They are ready to take on a world that isn’t making room for them. They number in the billions worldwide and are already exceeding the largest demographic known to this point, The Baby Boomers.
They see the world differently than those before them. It’s not as big as we’d like to believe. Everything is connected and everyone. There is a greater social conscience
Two things have happened over the last 20 years that are making opportunities for advancement not plentiful enough for younger people: The economy has run into deep troubles, resulting in skeleton staffs that remain at skeleton levels even as the economy recovers, and more people who decide to put off retirement. Those two elements equal smaller staffs with fewer positions for advancement, with those upper-level positions that remain often taken by people, who in earlier eras, would have retired already, or at least be thinking of doing so.
With workforces still much slimmer than they were years ago, generational relations can be a zero-sum game, in which young up-and-comers are left with few development opportunities—until someone above them vacates their position. Do you notice this in your organization?
No one wants to push out a senior-level person who has years of experience and wisdom, but, on the other hand, a fresh, frequently more tech- and social media-savvy perspective can be invaluable to a company’s growth. In addition to the different technical skills younger employees may have, another benefit of advancing those in their 30s and 40s into leadership positions is an updated leadership style. Most of them came of age at a time when staffs were so slim that they never had the luxury of “delegating” their responsibilities. That means most of them are not adverse to learning new tasks to get their jobs done, and most of them would naturally gravitate toward what might be called “participatory leadership.” That means leadership that chooses to participate in getting the work done, rather than just seeing their role as director and critic.
Many older leaders have learned to take a similar approach, but it’s still common among older leaders to feel they can have a job role in which “That’s not my job” is a common reply to requests from their team for help. It’s understandable that some, if not many, of these leaders in their 50s, 60s, or 70s would have that perspective. They came of age in the workforce at a time when staffs were much larger, when it was not unusual for even mid-level employees to have an office and a secretary. So, now that they’re at the pinnacle of their careers, why would they feel the need to be participatory in their approach to leadership?
Part of the solution to make room for advancement opportunities from the mid-ranks to the top is to separate the wheat from the chaff. At one company, there’s one leader who is around the same age as the boss, but who is known as being a great mentor and leader—one who seems to have emotional intelligence and a natural inclination to participate in the workload, and to create a work environment appealing to 30- and 40-somethings. The boss, on the other hand, is a textbook case of a person who has outlasted his usefulness to the modern workforce. A red flag that he is more a part of the chaff than the wheat is that he isn’t open to learning new skills. Your age and generation is not important, as long as you’re willing to learn new skills and use those new skills to help out. For example, we (or I) manage a Website, and he doesn’t even know how to create a hyperlink or add a photo to a page. He spends his days in meetings offering his opinion and criticism. Is that a personality you need in your organization? If you have a mid-sized or large organization, you probably have at least one leader like this on your payroll.
One idea is for training professionals to work with department heads on assessing the skills and potential for growth of all of their employees, regardless of generation. What do you do at your organization to preserve the best of your senior ranks, while encouraging (or facilitating) the less-than-stellar to bow out? Do incentives for some of these individuals to retire make sense for your company?
Organizations today need to discover what will work them and their environment. Ignoring this challenge or hoping it will just work itself out is not the answer. The future for all is what is at stake and there is no time like today to address this.
Most adults are self-directed learners: They want to learn what they want, when they want, and how they want. Adult learners have their own style of learning that includes four key elements, discussed below. Even if you structure your training program to meet these elements, however, you may still run into reluctant learners. We also provide seven rules for training reluctant or resistant learners.
Two things have happened over the last 20 years that are making opportunities for advancement not plentiful enough for younger people: The economy has run into deep troubles, resulting in skeleton staffs that remain at skeleton levels even as the economy recovers, and more people who decide to put off retirement. Those two elements equal smaller staffs with fewer positions for advancement, with those upper-level positions that remain often taken by people, who in earlier eras, would have retired already, or at least be thinking of doing so.
With workforces still much slimmer than they were years ago, generational relations can be a zero-sum game, in which young up-and-comers are left with few development opportunities—until someone above them vacates their position. Do you notice this in your organization?
No one wants to push out a senior-level person who has years of experience and wisdom, but, on the other hand, a fresh, frequently more tech- and social media-savvy perspective can be invaluable to a company’s growth. In addition to the different technical skills younger employees may have, another benefit of advancing those in their 30s and 40s into leadership positions is an updated leadership style. Most of them came of age at a time when staffs were so slim that they never had the luxury of “delegating” their responsibilities. That means most of them are not adverse to learning new tasks to get their jobs done, and most of them would naturally gravitate toward what might be called “participatory leadership.” That means leadership that chooses to participate in getting the work done, rather than just seeing their role as director and critic.
Many older leaders have learned to take a similar approach, but it’s still common among older leaders to feel they can have a job role in which “That’s not my job” is a common reply to requests from their team for help. It’s understandable that some, if not many, of these leaders in their 50s, 60s, or 70s would have that perspective. They came of age in the workforce at a time when staffs were much larger, when it was not unusual for even mid-level employees to have an office and a secretary. So, now that they’re at the pinnacle of their careers, why would they feel the need to be participatory in their approach to leadership?
Part of the solution to make room for advancement opportunities from the mid-ranks to the top is to separate the wheat from the chaff. At one company, there’s one leader who is around the same age as the boss, but who is known as being a great mentor and leader—one who seems to have emotional intelligence and a natural inclination to participate in the workload, and to create a work environment appealing to 30- and 40-somethings. The boss, on the other hand, is a textbook case of a person who has outlasted his usefulness to the modern workforce. A red flag that he is more a part of the chaff than the wheat is that he isn’t open to learning new skills. Your age and generation is not important, as long as you’re willing to learn new skills and use those new skills to help out. For example, we (or I) manage a Website, and he doesn’t even know how to create a hyperlink or add a photo to a page. He spends his days in meetings offering his opinion and criticism. Is that a personality you need in your organization? If you have a mid-sized or large organization, you probably have at least one leader like this on your payroll.
One idea is for training professionals to work with department heads on assessing the skills and potential for growth of all of their employees, regardless of generation. What do you do at your organization to preserve the best of your senior ranks, while encouraging (or facilitating) the less-than-stellar to bow out? Do incentives for some of these individuals to retire make sense for your company?
Organizations today need to discover what will work them and their environment. Ignoring this challenge or hoping it will just work itself out is not the answer. The future for all is what is at stake and there is no time like today to address this.
The Four Elements of Adult Learning
Motivation. To motivate adult learners, set a friendly or open tone to each session, create a feeling of concern, and set an appropriate level of difficulty. Other motivators for adult learners include:
Personal achievement—including attaining higher job status or keeping up with or surpassing competitors
Social well-being—including opportunities for community work
External expectations—such as meeting the expectations of someone with formal authority
Social relationships—including opportunities to make new friends that satisfy people’s desire for association
Stimulation—that breaks the routine of work and provides contrast in employees’ lives
Interest in learning—which gives employees knowledge for the sake of knowledge and satisfies curious minds
Reinforcement. Use both positive and negative reinforcement to be successful in training adult learners. Use positive reinforcement frequently, such as verbal praise, when teaching new skills in order to encourage progress and reward good results. Use negative reinforcement, such as negative comments on a performance review, to stop bad habits or performance.
Retention. Adults must retain what they’ve learned in order to realize benefits on both the personal and company-wide levels. Achieve great retention rates by having trainees practice their newly acquired skills again and again until they are familiar and comfortable enough to ensure long-term success.
Transference. Adults want to bring what they learn in training directly to the workplace. Positive transference occurs when adults are able to apply learned skills to the workplace. Negative transference occurs when learners can’t—or don’t—apply skills to the workplace.
